


THE TRUE STAG KING

by The Jingo (The_King_in_White)



Series: Now THIS is a Shitpost [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: F/F, F/M, Harems, Multi, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2019-12-06 22:37:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 13
Words: 4,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18226334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_King_in_White/pseuds/The%20Jingo
Summary: Hadrian born as the first true born son of King Robert Baratheon and lyanna stark. lyanna was pregnant before she was kidnapped my rhaegar and forced to marry him. will he win the game of thrONES? THIS IS his story





	1. Chapter 1

harry baratheons woke up and he was hungover head hurt and beer bottles on the floor and also his bed was full of whores and he laffed "nice" BECAUSE he was a trueborn son of robert baratheon demon of the trigent and the shewolf maid of winterfell lyanna starks so he was the same kind of guy as robert except not fat and also good at sex in fact he was so good at sex he fucked the whores so good they didn't even need to get paid

the crown prince got up and walked over to the mirror and looked in the mirror and saw himself it was hadrian "harry" baratheon the trueborn son of robert baratheon demon of the trigent and the shewolf maid of winterfell lyanna starks he was twenty years old and stood at six feet fives yards tall and was covered in muscles with hair buzzcut close to show off his manly skull manly ears manly jaw manly eyes manly nose. he had one blue eye and one grey eye he got one from each of his parents (robert baratheon demon of the trigent and the shewolf maid of winterfell lyanna starks)

harry had a scar the crossed his cheek he got it three years ago when he was in the stepstones fighting false aegon blackfyre and he killed that little bitrch and then ran to pentos and found daenerys targaryen the stormborn unburnt mother of ants and she was good looking and sad so he picked up viserys and threw him down the well and saved dany (emilia clark) from a life of being a relevant character and then brought her back to westeros where he made her his first wife and robert was okay with it because he was happy to see his son gettin dat nut

speaking of which

"hey bby u need a hand"

harry turned around and there was his wife daenerys targaryen the stormborn unburnt mother of ants and she was naked with swollen belly swollen feet swollen titties from her pregnancy and harry grinned and slapped her on the ass and laffed and she laffed and then he decided he was bored so he got dressed for the day

harry wore black dragonbone plate black dragonbone greaves black dragonbone helm black dragonbone boots black dragonbone black dragonbone shield black dragonbone bow black dragonbone arrows and black dragonbone fedora BUT NOT BLACK DRAGONBONE SWORD HE HAD TWO VALYRIAN STEEL ONES one was dark sister sword of visenya "the big bitch" targaryen and the other way blackfyre the sword of AEGON THE CONQUEROR FIRST KING OF THE ANDALS AND THE RHOYNAR AND THE FIRST MEN and also harry's previous life and ancestor that he lived in after being reincarnated from hogwarts

satisfied he looked good the prince finally left the room to go find his mother and plug her ass


	2. Chapter 2

harry walked into the throne room and stopped

seeing Joffrey crowned himself king and eddard "the quiet wolf" stark on his knees about to 'confess' his '''''''treason'''''''.

"fuck you" harry screamed and then ran up and slapped cersei and slapped joffrey and slapped tommen for being a fat little bitch

He was really mad because yesterday he was in oldtown slapping margaery from the back and hammering dat ass with his monster elevendy foot stag foot but then eddard decide to send a copy of Robert's will to the castle that is closest to kings landing from the Reach. So that Harry will immediately start to head back instead of his plan for his ' Honey moon' of simply making sure Margaery screams his name every night for the whole castle to hear.  
  
Harry kills the executioner with the Valyrian steal sword Ice that was about to kill Eddard Stark. Freeing eddard stark. then points the sword at Joffrey who just turns around a massive wet brown spot on his pants that runs down his legs.  
  
Harry: You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!  
  
Joffrey: And you are a week arbitrary fool!  
  
Harry: Yes... I was a fool, to think you could be Trusted to keep the peace while I was Getting Married.  
  
Cersei: Please.  
  
Harry: No, Itold you to keep a muzzle on joffrey. Joffrey Baratheon you have betrayed the express command of the line of succession. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war! You are unworthy of the people you're unworthy of your title, you're unworthy... of the loved ones you have betrayed! I now take from you your power! In My name and my father's before me, I, Hadrian Baratheon the **trueborn son of robert baratheon demon of the trigent and the shewolf maid of winterfell lyanna starks** cast you out! And send you to the Wall, after i find out who orcistraited this idiotic plot.  
  
harry orders one of his loyal men to take Joffrey to the dungeons to await him to ask why he did it. he asks everyone to clear the throne room and then he took off his clothes and took a big shit in his own mouth.


	3. Chapter 3

next day Harry got up and walked to the small council chamber and look up and look down and look around and look everywhere

sitting around at the table was all his feet

Harry adds a representative for each of the regions of Westeros to the small council.  
Crown lands-. Edwell Celtigar or Montfort Velaryon.  
Storm lands - ser cortnay Penrose and Edric Storm. Ask Harry to legitimize Edric as a Penrose to make his family name not die out. Treated him like his son and he didnt father any children because he was gay.  
Dorne- Oberyn and Arianne Martell (learn from her uncle)  
Reach- Willas Tyrell  
Westerlands- Kevan after he helps Tyrion find out why the crown is in so much debt.  
Vale- Robar Royce  
Riverlands- Tytos Black wood's Brother and his son.  
Iron islands- Yara Greyjoy master of ships? And represent active of the iron islands as Rodrik Harlaw.  
North- smallJon Umber.  
Hand of king- Stannis  
Whispers- Varys  
Coin- Tyrion  
Laws- Randyll Tarly  
Ships- Paxtor Redwyne  
Kings guard- Barristan Selmy or Balon Swann if Cersei dismisses Barristan Selmy and he travels to Daenerys.  
New Grand Maester has to be called because Pycelle will have to die.  
Advisers  
Olenna Tyrell  
Cersei,

"good you are all here" he said and then got up and start walking around with his three valyrian steel swords bouncing one was blackfyre one was dark sister and one was ice he got that one from eddard the quiet wolf stark (his uncle the brother of lyanna starks the shewolf maid of winterfell) "shit's fucked there is no money littlefinger took it all that's why i sent robb stark to go torture the money back out of him"

"Robb STark!" shouts smalljob jumping up on the table and taking a piss on olenna tyrell "ROBB STARK THE WALL WILL MELT BEFORE AN UMBER MARCHES BEHIND A STARK" and then harry farted and out jumped a big wolf half white half black with a giant red dildo stuffed up his ass

the wolf attack bigjon and bit off his fingers and then gave him a bad succ and then smalljob started to cry

"my lord father taught me that it's death to bare steel against ur legelord but doubtless bigjonsmall only meant to cut my meet for me" and then small jane started to laugh

YOUR MEET

IS BLUDY TUFF

after putting smalljbo in his place harry ran out the room and picked up his dragon egg amd ran black in the root and put it under it in the fireplace and two and a half secs later it hatched (yes harry gets a dragon no he doesn't have to kill people for it he's not evil he doesn't do bad guy thing) and then he started to murder janos slynt YOU FAT BITCH

"okay i think we're done" harry said and they all said "ya" back so then he stood up and smiled at everyone perfect white teeth perfect muscles "ok see you all tomorrow for me wedding to arya stark sansa stark and also OC McGruff from beyond the wall" and then they all started to clap so harry dismissed them

"AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT"

then they all left and harry was by himself for two hours then he got bored and put on his nipple clamps and went in search of some fully greased backdoor hammertime with steve urkel


	4. Chapter 4

harry was walking down the hall drinking redbull when he realized that littlefinger was still alive

OH SH;IT he yelled then turned around and ran through the keep and ran through the city and ran through the country until he came to baelish's keep called the littlefinger where littlefinger kept his littlefinger on the littlest finger in the vale

he walked in front door and suddenly there was THE MOUNTAIN but harry didn't take shit from anyone so he whipped out his dicksword and twirled it in the air and then put his sword together like darth maul except sword and not kathleen kennedy "fuck you sexists the force awakens was a good movie" he said like a good like feminist ally while drinking his S O Y L E N T

gregor "tiny balls toxic masculine aggression" clegane screamed like J law being fucked by harve weinstein and ran away to the nearest tay swift concert to buy some gatorade

Harry watched him go with hate in his beefgrey soymoss bluegrey redpurple tits before putting his sword away "ILL GET U LATER MUDBLOOD" draco screamed and then went inside and walked down the stairs into littlefingers bondage basement where there were nudes of cat stark on the walls and also a buttplug dripping with bacon grease and on the floor there was a journal it said on the cover

LITTLEFINGER'S JOURNAL

DON'T READ THIS YOU STUPID FUCK

but baelish was bitch so King Hadrian Baratheon (the **trueborn son of robert baratheon demon of the trigent and the shewolf maid of winterfell lyanna starks** ) opened that book and shat himself it was all right there secret master plan of baelish written down very conveniently and clearly for anyone to read and this is not a plot contrivance at all

Petyr's Thoughts and his plans to become the king.

Petyr has an assassin push Ashara Dayne from the window, she didn't commit suicide!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
WHAT A TWIST WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING ???

harry got so fuckin mad at that cos his uncle ned nutted up in that whore so he ran back to the city and went down to baelishs brothel and he said "ENOFFFFALALDK FROM NOW ON THIS PLACE OWNED BY MY GREATEST ALLY COURTESANS" and they all cheered him and invested in Berkshire Hathaway

also before i forgot baelish stole money kept it under his mattress with his guns in his house like a good american patriot so harry took it back for the crown and then found baelish and took a big shit on him then burned him alive and pissed in his own mouth 


	5. HAVE SEX INCELS

two days later lysa heard littlefinger was dead and she started drinking and lost the will to live she ate:

Raspberries 2.99

Blueberries 2.99

Strawberries

Spinach

Cherry/grape tomato

1Red onion

1.99 lb Lettuce

5 lb potato Bread

Two packages Ben's 12 hot dog buns

2/$6 Hamburger Sunrise Bologna

2.99 Two packages compliments hot dogs

2.99 1 Yoplait Source yogurt

2 L of milk

4 Old El Paso taco kits

3.99 3 Tostito nachos 3/7.98

3- 2 L Diet Pepsi

2 Bacardi strawberry daiquiri mix 1.69

and all jizz and the she had a stroke and a heart attack and also cellulitis like the fat fucking heifer she is and then she farted and DIED

little sweetrobin also farted but didn't die instead he just got sick with sodomite blood and then died that way before jesus could take the wheel so the lords of the vale all appointed BRONZ YAWN ROLLS ROYCE as acting lord of his own fucking rectum until harry harding was old enough to become the lord of falconhouse and marry his left and right hands

all that was done and harry learned about it because the other harry came to him in the capital and blew some cocaine out of his asshole with the wheezing stinking wind of lysa arryn's dried up soggy pussy


	6. Chapter 6

harry was busy licking Melisandre( young body) toes he had them dipped in mercury and lead and then slurped it all up like a real man real roman real just real okay it was the realiest thing i ever seen and i've seen the inside of my daddy's asshole

so anyway hairy was harrying melis in her shaved young body butthole!!!!!!!! and then he came in his cuck cage and then turned into a lionwolfstarkhouse and suddenly the door burst open and it was the prophet mohammed himself

"harry you must stop this my boy you are sexually degenerate my boy please my body MY BOY" said dumbledore and then he sat on a fucking racist and spun

whjere was i

oh yes so dumbledore came in and looked at harry and looked away and looked at harry again "wkae the fuck up son jon connington rebelled (that guy that was gay for rhaegar you know the one)" so harry sobered up for once in his miserable life and stopped buying belle delphin's gamer girl bath water "okay let's do this"  
  
House connington raises in rebellion in the storm lands only 5000 men, but was able to attack some key castles on the Roseroad from kind game landing and the Reach slaughtering all of the lords families and the garrison. 6 million lords and their children moved to essos and jon con became known as the greatest evil in the history of the human race (one race the walker race)  
  
Lord connington has to die and Melisandre births a shadow monster killing him. EZ FIX for EZ problems

harry didn't know this though so he took his three vlarying steel sword (blackfire, whitefire, dark sister, light sister, and ICE) and ran down the roseroad and saw jon con dead on the floor in his own leaderbunker and decided it was suicide

deprive of his revenge he laid down on the floor and cried


	7. All Hail

Next day Harry went walking down the street and a young thot came up to him and offered to succ his dik

"of course whore" he said and then whipped out his mammoth manmeat

"thanks bruv" she said 

and then Harry BACKHANDED that fucking THOT "bitch, my name is HADRIAN OF THE HOUSE BARATHEON, THE FIRST OF MY NAME, KING OF THE ANDALS THE RHOYNAR AND THE FIRST MEN, LORD OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS, LORD OF WESTEROS, FATHER OF DRAGONS, THE UNCUCKED, BREAKER OF CHAINS, KHAL, SER, LORD, MASTER, GOD, JESUS, MOHAMMED, LORD OF THE IMPERIAL AND MOST LOYAL ROYAL HOUSE OF THE BLOCK, KING BITCH, SMELLYNUTS, THE THROUGHLY CUCKED, tinydick turbo cuck, bawsman, lord of winterfell, lord of the dornish sluts, king baby boo, the fattest daddy, THE DEVIL'S ANUS, LOKI AND GODMAN THOR, THAT ASS THOUGH, MY FATHER AND ALSO MY MOTHER, but not trump i'm not a racist"

THot status fucking THORUGHLY PATROLLED


	8. Chapter 8

harry was eating cornflakes out of a cereal bowl the next morning and it was just cereal and milk okay no piss no cocksnot no shit no dead people just cereal and milk and bugs. as he was doing that varys ran in with sweaty clothes fat rolls and the smell of a sweaty boi

"i got ure name from the server search here on discord cuz i was bored of playing and lookin for new people to talk to. :) how old are u?" said the cockless wonder and harry jumped up "no fucking way" he couldn't beleve that balon gayboi had declared independent again and invaded westeros and conquered it all

(not really he just conquer winterfell but that's bASICALLY same thing) and all of stark family was dead except sansa stark arya stark bran stark ned stark cat stark rickon stark and jon snow

they were all still alive and ran away to the wall and met edmure "the flooppy fish" floppy fish there he was cat's brother he was tuna instead of cat though and he was sexually frustrated but also impotent so balon attacks the Riverlands trying to reconquer the lands they owned before Aegon's conquests, and Deepwood Motte, and the West coast of The North.

Balon thought Westeros was week with having Harry on the throne. balon thought he wouldnt have tywin lannister's support.

BUT HE DID

harry raised an army of 666 men and chased down balon with the fury of ten thousand pride parades and his uncle stannis smashed the fleet at fair isle 2.0 and then they crossed the ocean and it was the siege of pyke 2.0 and harry led the army in the battle and stormed the walls of pyke 2.0 and killed all the men and the women too because they ugly as fuck and then he adopted all the children and they called him daddy

so harry looked down on them and said "I'm going to systematically toy with your piss hole until it's wide enough to comfortably fit my throbbing member, then I'm going to shove my dick up there and release all my jizz, impregnating your ball sack. When you reach full term, I'm going to squeeze your balls hard until the baby comes rocketing out. I'm going to take the dick baby, name him Timmy, and raise him to write shitty Game of Thrones Mpreg fanfiction."

and all the children laughed

so then harry went home and DIDN'T SHIT ANYWHERE OKAY HE WAS A BIT CLEANED OUT AFTER THE ENEMA ARRIANGE GAVE HIM

she did this because mad.

once time Arianne Martell, (Gal Gadot), Attracted to Harry. Not knowing of her father's plan to marry Viserys and him passing her over for her brother. She rebels against Doran, and seduces Harry, but his personality draws her in and they give each other their heart. He agrees to help her become ruler of Dorne and when he takes the Iron throne

but he lied because fuck dorne it's full of fucking special snowflakes so he fucked arriange fucke oberyn fucked sand snakes fucked tyrstane fucked quentin but not doran because he cripple and then he sent them all to lick dany's feet and

[ **I'm sorry your dad diddled you as a child.** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_UM88_RjKQ)


	9. Chapter 9

harry returned to king's landing with his bitches in tow

"KING HARRY KING HARRY KING HARRY KING HARRY KING HARRY KING HARRY KING HARRY KING HARRY KING HARRY KING HARRY " all the little people screamed as he rode through the streets on the back of his dragon like a fucking BADASS.

"sup plebs" he laffed and then turned water into wine and gave it away to the youngest newborn baby in the crowd "this kid gonna be great, believeme" he promised the courtesan and looked deep in her eyes and she looked deep into his pockets and then tongue punched his fart box for neetbux

with saliva dripping from his rear hole harry rode into the keep and roasted a few of the guards for being lazy fucks "get back to work you fucking commies!" he screamed and then heiled his own gigantic nuts like the beastly alpha werewolf that he was.

hopping off dragon harry walked inside and there was cersei and myrecella both blonde bimbos with big lips big tits and small ass so harry made them go to the store and buy a new pair of asses and then when they got back he threw them on the floor and then threw up and then decided that was enough and slipped some gold dragons between the cracks of their titties "thanks for the ride cunnies" he said and then walked away but he felt a little guilty so he came back and slapped them for good measure

SUDDENLY WAS Tommen

his gay little "brother" was dressed as a long hair sissy boi wearing pink panties and a cheerleader outfit "hey daddy shit happened at the wall WILDLINGS ARE INVADING" and that made harry mad so he jumped on tommen and punched him and punched him and fucked him until he teeth knocked out and there was blood and anus juice everywhere

LISTEN HERE THEY ARE CALLED FREE FOLK OKAY STOP BEING A KNEELER kthx

five seconds later (how long i last before cumming from getting fucked in the ass) Maester Aemon sends ravens to dragonstone about the wildlings and other things. Harry sends Stannis to bring Mance Rayder to see the cave drawings by the obsidian deposit. And bring the free folk to the living side of the wall. With Jon 's Plan to take a collateral/ assurances to make sure they don't raid the north.

while he did that new king beyond the wall

The free folk that want to take the wall by force that follow a warlord beyond the wall, one of the Cannibal clans that unites all it the cannibal clans promising them the rich marbled flesh of the southern lords and their fat king.

harry decide time to go to wall and kick some wildling ass

will he win? remember is only Powerful but not Godlike, Harry.

stay tuned for the next episode of

The Great California Earthquake


	10. Chapter 10

Naruto Baratheon Targaryen Lannister Stark Frey, the Wildling King took his dragon from king's landing and with his 6,000,000 strong army from the the Westerlands, the North, the Vale, and also Essos but not Reach because they're sissy and also look like the pimple on my mom's ass

so anyway naruto took his army and marched through the north and walked up to the wall and it was melting so he flew over it with his dragon and roasted the wildlings and laffed "lol bitch" then he landed got down and walked up to heart tree and then the old gods spoke through and in him and rang his nuts 

"Any kind of kinks are welcome save for Snuff and the truly darker side of the internet" was in his head and harry's eyes went wide so he went back to konoha because he was gonna be the headmaster he was gonna wear pink he was gonna train and be the boy in the team

flying back over the wall he was naked and anus winked "sup mannis" he said when he saw his grizzled old man IRON UNCLE "what u got for me" and stannis looked at him and looked away and looked everywhere and then took him to the nigthfort and there was cages and cats all over

in one cage was Val, ( Katheryn Winnick), captured by stannis when harry sends him to help defend the wall, takes the place of Tormund Giantsbane before the thenns are granted leadership of the raiding party on the southern side of the wall. Tourmund is still alive was captured by mance raider, but they have proof of the white walkers returning with Leaf's help, in aranging an ambush to capture (burming its arms off).

harry saw this bitch and peepee get hard so he open the cage and lifted his arms and overwhelmed her with his eyes   
"how you do that" val and stannis said as they start to suck his toes

"destiny"

Melisandre's vision point to Harry as her Lord Azor Ahai, this frees up Stannis to support Harry. Kinvara also sees Harry as a candidate, signs point to Daeny as well, to unite Red Priests marriage is proposed. Kinvara & Melisandre intimately assure the union.


	11. Chapter 11

now that wildling king was roast harry decided to go back home so he putt on his butts and started to walk first he walk to queens crown then dreadfort then riverrun then pyke then pyke then not-pyke harlaw or something like that then finally king's landing once he get there he open the doors theere was his harem

Sansa, Margaery, Mira Forrester, Sera Durwell, Elissa Forrester, Cersei, Val, Ygritte, Daenerys, Irri, Doreah, Missandei, Talisa Maegyr, Ros, Myrcella, Arya, Jeyne Poole, Roslyn Frey, Melisandre( young body), and Kinvara, The Sand snakes, Marei, Alayaya, Chataya. Harry can have some of the ruins rebuilt and give the rebuilt castles to his ladies: Summerhall, Harrenhall, Castamere, the Whispers, Tarbeck Hall, Vulture's rest (Stormlands), Brightwater Keep( Connington exterminates everyone), Margaery, (Natalie Dormer), engaged to Harry.

The main wife of Harry was there too and she look at him and then open her pussy "here daddy" then out crawled sirius black "hey mate" you a cheeky wanker said serious

NOT NOW DAD

Mira Forrester comes to King's Landing with Margaery, (Selena Gomez), while her mother, Elissa Forrester, (Lara Pulver) is visiting her daughter. Both ask for help from Harry helps the Forrester Family when the Bolton's order the Whitehills to march on Iron wrath after forcing a garrison on house Forrester after Lord Forrester dies From a supposed heart attack. After the Male Whitehills are wiped out he orders the Whitehill land to be given to the Asher Forrester when he returns and marries Gwyn Whitehill. harry gives the forresters 500 men to defend their family.

DAD I SAID NOT NOW

Sera Durwell (Halston Sage) Comes with Margaery also. Harry introduces her To one of his personal soldiers, he tells her how on Alex's trip across to Essos Alex saved his life after a Sorcerer cut of his manhood and had it burned in a ritual ( like Varys), and after Harry Killed the man He swore an oath then and there to help him and the prince's endeavors in all things. The soldier's name is Joren Blackfyre, the last descendant of the Blackfyre rebellion. He realizes he will never have children and finally lets go of his anger of not being able to be king. Harry has Joren and Sera, Marry and takes the name of Durwell while he is over seeing the Reconstruction of Summerhall. Harry's Children with her will rule the lands of Summerhall loyal to Harry.

FUCK OFF DAD


	12. EPSTEIN IS INNOCENT

okay sorry my dad died now so we're good

NEXT DAY harry was sitting on the iron throne and sweating a little bit under his balls you know how sometimes we get hot day and then you sweat and it makes your balls stick to the side of the leg yeah it's like that (i wish my balls were big enought to know) then suddenly door opened with the sound of a wheezing fucktard and there was myrcella and she took off aall her clothes and harry put on all his clothes and then they got on the floro and fucked for 13 parsecs

why did happen?

Myrcella, (Nell Tiger Free), she sees Jaime and Cersei together before Jon Arryn dies and thinks it is natural for a brother and sister to become intimate and love each other). Gathers courage she seeks him out and Harry unable to refuse her( having already promissed her he would do anything for her. Cersei sees them together and gets hot and Mastrabates to the sight of them together, she catches Harry's attention. Allotted while later Cersei joins them.

anyway so that happen and now myrcella pregnant and cersei pregnant and they swollen up and walked out and in walked arya stark an d Arya is an independent girl so she may choose Harry to be her mate after he helps train her. After word comes out that Harry is king, Arya begins to travel south to be with Harry.

"hello m8" said maisie williams and then she smirked like a gobling and jumped up and backstabbed varys because she learned to be a FUCKING BADASS when she was eating bangers and mash in liverpool off the top of jontron's freshly washed asshole

SO ARYA AND HARRY M8'D like it was 1933 and then she got up and left and sailed across the ocean to find a new baby daddy

finally harem is complete wait no

Jeyne Poole(Hailee Steinfeld, becomes intimate with Harry after the feast in Winterfell. In the heat of the moment she swears to be his 'personal little fucktoy, even if she isn't the only one.

also there was Roslyn Frey (Alexandra Dowling) was sent to become one of Margaery's handmaidens and to try and seduce Harry away from Margaery. Her father plots to station frey men in riverrun to butchet the entire population of the castle in the night but the black fish not trusting them gives the maester a letter asking for aid from the king. Her children will receive the twins fom harry.

having created a genetic bottleneck in westeros harry got on the ship and sailed to the lands of always winter where he dipped his nuts in the night king's shitbox

~~**_ PS _ ** ~~

I fell for the BRAP meme and sniffed a girl's butthole about a week ago and it smelled so terrible I think I'm gay now. I guess I didn't expect it to be so soul-crushingly abhorrent. In the days afterwards it was all I could think about when talking to her, and I ended up distancing myself as fast as possible and I'm pretty sure she knows why. I honestly haven't had any interest in her or any other women since it happened. I feel like a meme killed my sex drive and I don't know what to do. 

Please send help.


	13. Chapter 13

i just farted and it smells like carrots damn it this always happens do you guys have problems with your farts smelling like carrots

 


End file.
